The Bear Cage : A Photo Essay

Sunday, September 4th 2011
LeiBear Day Weekend
Hula's Bar & Lei Stand

L:  Uh, guys...

H:  What? We're just minding our own- wait, there's bears in here.

L: Yeah there are...

H:  Got one!

L :  It's a Bearrr you have to pull Harderrrr!

M: Uh, guys...that's not a bear.

H:  This one? 

L:  Holy chap-clap. Let's go.

~ FIN ~

I Got 2 Piercings in Paradise (Part II)

And then came the needle. Holy shit, worst pain ever. I'd say childbirth. I know choosey moms would disagree, but I was lying on a vinyl table, the gal was wearing surgical gloves, and I was squeezing my partner's (in this case, Roxy's) hand, and probably shouldn't have been drinking. Paging Dr. Montgomery-Shepard : where's ma stir-ups?

 And then came the other side. Twins!

 All pau!  That wasn't so bad... Well, I'm a lil drunk and adrenaline is pumping... karaoke!

Sang a few shirtless ditties whilest Roxy admired my pierced titties ... A little Earth, Wind & Fire to shut it down, and it's on to the next one...

Next stop : Huler's! Bloody Mares all around (x2 for Rox & I, sorry Harlo, you're driving :/)

And we were home no later than 10pm. Roxy slammed a kool-aid jammer and it was light's out in the Bear's Den. Full Circles.

I Got 2 Piercings in Paradise (Part I)

I know it's been a while since I posted, but I've just been waiting for ma wounds to heal. Now that they have, I feel safe to share the experience...

 

One Friday morning I woke up in the Bear's Den (my friend Roxy's studio apartment I was subletting from her for the summer), and by the way it was Roxy who barged right in to wake me, and she asked the very dangerous question "what are we gonna do today..." Well, we all had the day off, so I replied, semi-jokingly "Get my nipples pierced." And that's how it all began...

 

Me, Roxy, and Harlan all headed to Kaimana Beach to tan and discuss the logistics of this rediculous idea, that was quickly moving from off-base to on-par. We searched on our phones for prospective piercers, and after an unfruitful call or two, decided on A Tiki Tatoo & Piercing on Kuhio Ave. After sufficient tanning time we headed straight to Waikiki, wandered to Lojax Sports Bar where we realized as a matter of happenstance they were offering power hour. $1.50 wells were had x3 and I was ready to roll.

 

...Piercing prep at Power Hour...

 

 

...We crossed the street from the bar to A Tiki Tattoo, where this gal was ready (well, not so much ready, moreso just eating a Filet-o-fish behind the counter and telling us how HO she was) to get a'piercin'...

 

To Be Continued...

It was a very good sear...

As a haole in Hawai'i I am on a constant quest to maintain that coveted golden glow. One may think that only vacationers from the mainland are truly interested in bringing home the Maui Brown, but look at it from my perspect: I am home, which means I gotta bring the brown every day. Tanning is a chore, but it doesn't have to feel that way. I like to combine the task, making otherwise fruitless daily activities more rewarding.  For example,

(Pretending to) garden...
I like to water my plants (sometimes) shirtless (always).

Walking the dog...
I took care of a dog for 4 months and walked her everyday, shamelessly shirtless. Two birds, one tan.

Exercising...
What's the difference between running outside and working out at the gym? Outdoor runs are for accomplishing your task during peak tanning hours, gymming is for admiring your tan at night. That's why there's mirrors at 24. 

Driving...
Sorry, you're looking at a trucker's tan if you don't do it shirtless.  But please be respectful and put your shirt back on before you enter Foodland. Just because "No Shoes, No Shirt" isn't strictly enforced here, doesn't make it a best practice.

Days of rays at Kaimana Beach, just east of Waikiki.

The hue of your target tan depends, of course, on your natural hue. I generally aim for somewhere within the spectrum between tangerine dream and weathered leather.  Whatever your goal, always use protection. My go to screen is Banana Boat Green Tea SPF 8.  If you are of milkier descent, you may want to start with 70.  Once protected I'll add a coat of Maui Browning lotion. It contains coffee extract and potassium iodide, leaving just a hint of that purpley hue every deep tan deserves.

So where's the best place to get it done in town? I like to check-in at Kaimana Beach, on the diamond head side of Waikiki. There's plenty parking (metered and not) at the adjacent Kapionlani Park, and it's a lot wider from shorebreak to tree line than most of the other parts of Waikiki. Plus, if you hit the beach at the right time in the late afternoon, skip the shade of the palms and claim your spot beneath the large windows of the New Otani Hotel, which act as a magnifying glass providing bonus rays for only the most discerning tanners.

Twas a very good sear. 

Almost Doesn't Count - Hungover Hiking @ Koko Head

OUT IN WAIKIKI is back after a several month hiatus during which the editors spent some time being distracted by their own rediculous lives.  Now we're back with a New Year, New You posting.  Given we're knee deep in 2011 already, it's more of a Chinese New Year, New You.

I just returned to Honolulu after a jet-setting 2 day, 3 night weekend in Portland, visiting the family and friends that I unfortunately missed while working in Waikiki over Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Much merriment commenced, mainly drinking and karaoke and filling my suitcase with all parts of H&M (can someone please get on that, Waikiki and Ala Moana are aching for this Forever21 rival to pop up!)

After barely sleeping on the plane, let alone the night before the early morning flight, I said "you know what? No rest for the weary...Happy New Year, Koko Head."  Just about 30 min east of the city is Koko Head District Park, where hungover souls can dehydrate themselves in a punishable fashion with a 0.8 mile, nearly vertical climb to the top of the crater.  This was my second summit, iPod shuffle in hand, I could never quite land on the Brandy song needed to inspire the hike.  Still yet, I told myself after several pauses "almost doesn't count." 

21 minutes later I was at the top, sweating till I couldn't sweat no more, enjoying the panoramic views of Hanauma bay, Diamondhead and Waikiki, Hawaii Kai, and the stretch of coast from Sandy's to Makapu'u.  I hated every minute of the hike, but it hurts so good when you finish.

It's nice to berate your body into physical submission after too much drinking and too much time away from the gym.  Lemme show you who's the boss now...  It's also nice to get out of Waikiki sometimes.



FML.